Tuesday, November 19, 2013

Definitely Not a Promo

I was asked to write a blog that wasn't – Buy my book.
Being an author means life is divided into two parts – write the book or promo the book (Capri's Fate). So trying to come up with a non-promo blog almost broke my brain. Then I thought about my latest book – (Capri's Fate) which I am not promoting – and wondered what was different/special about it and it hit me – my sense of humour. (Note: Canadian spelling – not a typo)

I'm a little off the wall when it comes to what I find funny. I've often been the only one in a quiet theatre chuckling at some subtle joke – or worse- sniggering at the lead up to the gag/punch that I see coming.

In my latest – which again I must insist just because I mentioned it -I am not promoting it (Capri's Fate), I wrote in a lot more humour. Humour which I know went straight over some people's heads – this is from responses to book. So I thought I would have some examples of what I find funny and why. Here are some sayings/questions and thoughts I've collected.

Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are flat?
Now this is just pain funny – we all do it. Press the button. Nothing happens. Shake the remote and press harder – it's global human nature and it's silly and silly is funny.

If the temperature is zero outside today and it's going to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold will it be?  Being horrid at math, this question terrifies me until I look at it from a Canadian perspective and the answer is - really friggin' cold! And when it gets to that temperature – all you can do is laugh – but do that indoors or your lungs will freeze. And while you're indoors - read a book. (Capri's Fate)

Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, 'I think I'll squeeze these pink dangly things there and drink whatever comes out?'
Now I'm an erotic romance writer and the possibilities that come from this statement are too numerous to mention. But all of them are just ludicrous (meaning really silly – not the rapper with the same name – which is just ludicrous in its own right)

And lastly

Do I even have to explain why that is hysterical? Or is it just me?

Blurb - What's a woman to do when a voice follows her home and makes mad, passionate love to her?

Corporate business woman, Capricious Gray, is dragged to a sex toy convention by her best friend. Once a shocking, mysterious disembodied voice helps her with her purchases, it follows her home. Passion ensues, leaving Capri torn between lust for her fantasy lover and the desperate need for reality in her life.

Thall, son of one of the Fates, harbors the irrepressible need to be with the woman he's desired from afar for years. In order to make her his, once and for all, he must help Capri get past her fears, including the fear of what he represents - a fantasy.

Can fantasy become a reality for these two lovers?

Excerpt – Set up – Capri and her best friend, Kat, are in an Irish pub and have had a couple of drinks.

"Whole story. Don't interrupt. When we were walking through the displays at the sex toy convention, I heard a voice. He spoke to me, but I couldn't see who it was. He followed me home."

"A stalker!" Kat popped her hand over her lips.

"No. A Fate. Or actually, the son of a Fate." As I continued with my rambling and muddled, but detailed explanation, our waitress deposited round number four. I was half finished with it when I got to the part – "And the sex was so hot, but he isn't real, so I told him to go away. Cause I need a man. A real man. I can't date the air. And now I miss him."

Kat leaned over toward me. Her breath smelled like cream ale. "So, what was it like?"

"The sex?"

"No, the nipple clamps. I really wanted to buy a pair."

"Kat." I fell back against the chair and rubbed my face. "I just told you I met a Fate and had incredible beach sex and all you got out of it was I own nipple clamps."

A frigid chill ran down my back. I glanced up. Every male in the bar was staring at me. Most had that stupid, horny grin on their faces. Why? Because the second I said, I own nipple clamps, the room went dead silent and everyone heard me.

So I did what any self-respecting but totally humiliated woman would do, I ordered another beer.

Kelly-Anne brought it over and smiled. She was practically my bitch by now as I'd been over tipping the whole night. "Patrick said this one's on the house."

"Well you can tell Patrick, I'm not gonna show him my nipple clamps." I glanced up at the other patrons. "Or anybody else."

A case of the giggles hit Kat. She kept trying to tell me something, but would shake with laughter and could only spit out a garbled mess of words. "Yo zed plmps."

Four and a half Guinness Draughts in you and it doesn't take long for the infectious giggling to invade your body. I wiped the tears of laughter from my eyes and started singing, "When Irish eyes are smiling. De da de dum, I don't know the words. But when Irish eyes are smiling…de dum de de da dum dee." I held that last note for several seconds. And proudly I might add, I was only a little off key.

"Okay. Okay. I got it." Kat placed her hand on her chest and tried to control her breathing. "You said nipple clamps!" She burst into hysterics and knocked over her empty beer glass.

"Time to go." I stood and swayed. My knees buckled. The chair pad rose up and met my butt. No, reverse that, I sat down.

Buy Links – https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/309990

Where to find me - Blog - http://myeroticnotions.blogspot.com
Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/daryl.devore
Facebook Author Page - https://www.facebook.com/pages/Daryl-Devore/280168402052520
Twitter - http://twitter.com/daryldevore
Google+ - Daryl Devore
Wattpad - http://www.wattpad.com/user/DarylDevore
GoodReads Author Page - http://www.goodreads.com/DarylDevore
Amazon Author Page - http://www.amazon.com/-/e/B004TJ1354

Daryl Devore lives in an in old farmhouse in Ontario, Canada, with her husband, two cats, a large salt water aquarium full of fish and some ghosts. Her daughter is grown and has flown the nest. Daryl loves to take long walks up her quiet country road, or snow shoe across the back acres and in the summer, kayak along the St. Lawrence River. She has touched a moon rock, a mammoth and a meteorite. She's been deep in the ocean in a submarine, flew high over Niagara Falls in a helicopter and used the ladies room in a royal palace. Life's an adventure and Daryl's having fun living it.


Daryl Devore said...

Thank for letting me stop by and not promo my book. :-)

Jennifer Lowery Kamptner said...

OMG! I laughed so hard at the pic! And your sense of humor is great! Thanks for this, Daryl! And I LOVE Capri's Fate-my absolute favorite book of yours!!

Liza O'Connor said...

Holy batman indeed. Enjoyed this greatly.

Daryl Devore said...

Jennifer - thanks for the lovely words. I think Capri's Fate is my favourite also.

Liza - glad you liked it. :-)

Sandy said...

LOL Brilliant at non promoting, Daryl.

vicki batman said...

Love the humor, but I especially enjoyed Batman.

Victoria Adams said...

Great post. Love your book and the kitten photo.

Dory Jensen said...

Loved your post and sense of humour(also Canadian) as for the milking the cow, it was probably the same guy that said, "We know rhubarb leaves and roots are poisonous--lets try the stem." I'm going to check out the book. looks good- good job not promoting.

Daryl Devore said...

Sandy - thank you -yes I'm good at non promoting.

Vicki - I can see why you liked the Batman

Vic - knew you'd like the kitten

Dory - hadn't thought about the rhubarb thing - probably was the same person.

Mimi Barbour said...

Now why didn't I think of NOT promoting my book. This was hilarious. Thanks for brightening my day.

Vamp Writer said...

Funny, funny...if I'd been drinking milk, from the cow as I'd read that, it would have been shooting out of my nose! My latest Immortal Relations Coming Out is partially set near Ontario. I loved your humorous blog! Best of luck with the book!

Melissa Keir said...

Great post! I can see how those things are funny. Try when you find that the lights are out (power outage) you still walk into a room and try turning on the lights!

Best of luck with your book. I'm excited to read it!

Daryl Devore said...

Mimi - not promoting your book is the "new" thing.

Vamp Writer - cool - on your latest books setting.

Melissa - as soon as the power goes off I decide I need to watch TV!!

Marianne Harden said...

Broken brain--hilarious! From now on 'not promoting your book' is the new black! You're such a trend setter.

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